My mom wasn’t around to help when my third child (now a toddler) was born. My mom’s an old woman now.
When I gave birth to my first, I was in my late 20s. My mom was there waiting for the baby to be born. I didn’t know how to run a household yet, at least not like she did.
But this time my mom was in her mid 70’s and I’d been raising kids for a decade and a half. Roles change like that, for everyone, in every space. But aging makes it all a bit more final.
Except for when it doesn’t…
Because when her baby was hurt, nothing else mattered. She transformed: a self proclaimed “old woman” acting like she’s in her 30s.
I broke my back last January. My little one had just turned 2. So there I was basically bedridden. Pain at an 8 out of 10.
The week I got home from the hospital, my mom was there. The woman who for 5+ years told me she wasn’t comfortable carrying the baby up the stairs, “I’m old, honey,” without a thought hoisted that crying two year old on her hip and took her upstairs to change her diaper. She played with my little one for hours every morning, while I rested upstairs.
Have you ever played with a toddler for hours? My mom grew 10 extra arms that week.
I will always regret having to tell my little one after 5 days in the hospital, “Mommy can’t pick you up, baby.” For the next 6 weeks.
But what it gave me, I will never regret. It gave me my own mommy back. Years after we’d healed from all the conflicts of growing up. Years after I’d forgiven her, accepted her, realizing I only want to live in the love of her and let go of everything else.
It was almost too late. When I finally wanted my mom in my life, flaws and all, she’d already become old. I was too late.
Then I broke my back and my mom flew in to take care of me. For a blessed week I had my mommy. Age 35 maybe. Not a flaw. Not a second to think of herself.
When my baby needs me, that’s all that matters. What a gift, to have your mommy right there. For however long we have them, let’s be grateful. I always will be. I wish I had always been.
I hope my children understand this better than I did.
What is the worst thing someone has ever said to you that you still remember word for word till today? Not something you forgot, something that is still stuck in your head like it happened yesterday. You can remember where you were standing, what you were wearing, the tone of their voice, the exact words they used. People have said many things to you, but this one cut deep, it broke something inside you. You smiled and acted like it did not hurt, but when you got home, you cried. Till today, whenever you think about it, it still hurts the same way. What did they say to you, and who said it?
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